I remember defining myself as a feminist in late high school, but with complete fervor in university. I define feminism as a part of my credence that our goal is to treat all people (which I extend to animals, the earth) with respect and dignity. Women are equal to their masculine counterparts.
2. What has surprised you most about parenthood?
As the parent of two young boys, I'm happy that they are growing up in a world where the gender playing field is more level than ever before.
However, there still is a marked difference in the types of activities, games and toys that boys adhere to. Companies pitch fluffy, pink, 'fashion accessory' types of toys to girls, and boys are bombarded by messages of violence and machismo.
I was surprised at the types of books that are pitched to each gender - even books seem to have a gender!
3. What skills have you learned or honed as a parent?
I've learned that children don't 'do as I say,' they look to the adults in their lives as models. So, I've learned to live out what I believe, not just talk about it.
4. What work do you feel called to do? (You don't need to limit your answer to one thing).
I feel called to raise activists! At the very least, I want my children to see an equal male-female relationship first-hand. I want them to have a good model of how people interact, and treat each other well. I am happy when they know who Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr. are, and what they have done to contribute to a just society.
3. What skills have you learned or honed as a parent?
I've learned that children don't 'do as I say,' they look to the adults in their lives as models. So, I've learned to live out what I believe, not just talk about it.
4. What work do you feel called to do? (You don't need to limit your answer to one thing).
I feel called to raise activists! At the very least, I want my children to see an equal male-female relationship first-hand. I want them to have a good model of how people interact, and treat each other well. I am happy when they know who Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr. are, and what they have done to contribute to a just society.
I don't shield my children from difficult situations (such as homelessness, poverty, environmental damage), because it's a great way to talk about these issues. I've learned a lot from my children - they bring a fresh perspective - and I feel we are learning together.
5. Could you put your identity into a few key words? ie. mother-writer-student. How do you imagine your identity changing in ten years? Or twenty?
I am an environmental consultant and activist. I am trying to raise boys who treat everyone with dignity and respect (including themselves). I think this will be my identity for the rest of my life.
6. What is work? What is leisure? Do you have enough time to do the work that you want to do?
Work and leisure blend together for me, as I am self-employed, and can choose the work that I want to do based on whether it fits into my life or not. I'm lucky that some of my interest are work projects and vice versa. I have lots of plans and ideas, and there isn't enough time to do everything, but it also forces one to choose what is really important, and what is a 'would be nice to do' task.
7. Payment is the most obvious way to assign value to work; are there other ways?
Parenting is the toughest job going, and unpaid to boot! In fact, most of the most important work we will ever do in our lives is unpaid: treating people well, helping others reflecting on the world.
8. When people ask what do you do, how do you reply? How does your reply make you feel?
When people ask what I do, I tell them that I am an environmental consultant. Being self-employed, it's hard for people to relate to what I do - that's why I have a 15-second overview that I give as an answer.
I may elaborate on a certain project that I am working on (if they are interested), or try to relate a small part of my work to something that means something to the person asking the question.
I am comfortable in this reply, as I've been honing the answer for 13 years.
9. How have you goals for yourself changed since becoming a parent? What help do you need to reach those goals?
5. Could you put your identity into a few key words? ie. mother-writer-student. How do you imagine your identity changing in ten years? Or twenty?
I am an environmental consultant and activist. I am trying to raise boys who treat everyone with dignity and respect (including themselves). I think this will be my identity for the rest of my life.
6. What is work? What is leisure? Do you have enough time to do the work that you want to do?
Work and leisure blend together for me, as I am self-employed, and can choose the work that I want to do based on whether it fits into my life or not. I'm lucky that some of my interest are work projects and vice versa. I have lots of plans and ideas, and there isn't enough time to do everything, but it also forces one to choose what is really important, and what is a 'would be nice to do' task.
7. Payment is the most obvious way to assign value to work; are there other ways?
Parenting is the toughest job going, and unpaid to boot! In fact, most of the most important work we will ever do in our lives is unpaid: treating people well, helping others reflecting on the world.
8. When people ask what do you do, how do you reply? How does your reply make you feel?
When people ask what I do, I tell them that I am an environmental consultant. Being self-employed, it's hard for people to relate to what I do - that's why I have a 15-second overview that I give as an answer.
I may elaborate on a certain project that I am working on (if they are interested), or try to relate a small part of my work to something that means something to the person asking the question.
I am comfortable in this reply, as I've been honing the answer for 13 years.
9. How have you goals for yourself changed since becoming a parent? What help do you need to reach those goals?
Since becoming a parent I am connected to the earth & the community in a way I wasn't before. Of course, there are lots of way of connecting to the earth, but this was something I realized came naturally once my sons were born.
My goals for myself have remained the same, though, that hasn't really changed. The way I reach my goals are different though - they take longer to achieve!!
It has been helpful to have a group of peers who can answer my questions, hear my frustrations, and laugh with me when the going gets tough. I also needed a partner who was willing to share the parenting workload (my partner hates the word parent being used as a verb :). Other 'starring roles' have gone to my sister, my brother-in-law, my father, my step-mother, my father-in-law, my nieces, and friends (old and young) who have loved & cared for my boys. This is my village (that it takes to raise a child).
10. How has feminism failed mothers / fathers (f you think it has)? Personally, what do you think feminism has given mothers / fathers? What could it give?
Feminism has given women the power of choice, and has also give women a voice (nice, that rhymes!). We can choose whether (or not) we want to pursue paid work, or whether (or not) we want to stay home with children, or do a combination of both of these options.
Feminism also gives men the power of choice, as my husband shares child-rearing duties with me.
However, women can't be all things to all people (contrary to the 1980s 'we can have it all' idea). We need to decide what is most important to us, and decide what we want to keep and what we want to give away (or put on the shelf for the time being). Choose what you want to focus on, and give yourself a break about the things you aren't doing.
10. How has feminism failed mothers / fathers (f you think it has)? Personally, what do you think feminism has given mothers / fathers? What could it give?
Feminism has given women the power of choice, and has also give women a voice (nice, that rhymes!). We can choose whether (or not) we want to pursue paid work, or whether (or not) we want to stay home with children, or do a combination of both of these options.
Feminism also gives men the power of choice, as my husband shares child-rearing duties with me.
However, women can't be all things to all people (contrary to the 1980s 'we can have it all' idea). We need to decide what is most important to us, and decide what we want to keep and what we want to give away (or put on the shelf for the time being). Choose what you want to focus on, and give yourself a break about the things you aren't doing.
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