1. How do you define feminism? Why are you a feminist? When did you become one?
The dictionary defines "feminism" as the advocacy of equal rights for women. Society, on the other hand, defines feminism as a movement mostly of women who are simply a 'nuisance' to be tolerated, listened to and then ignored. Ironically, though, it is society that has tried to define us as women and our roles, our capacities and place in this world. No, I'm not a bitter person ... nor a feminist who joins other in the cause. I am a 'person' who has created my life around (not within) the constraints that society has devised; as well, I have lived 'within' the true nature that my physical being has given me. Although associated with my 'role,' I actually chose to be a mother with children. Eventually I chose to divorce (although indirectly, it really was my ex-husband's choice). I chose to go back to school and to move ahead with a new profession in teaching (had been a registered nurse before spending 17 years at home working as a wife, mother, and leader of women's/young mothers' groups). Essentially, I have always been what society calls a feminist ... by example which is my voice.
2. What has surprised you most about parenthood?
The surprise in parenthood: that although I worked very hard to avoid the mistakes I perceived my parents making ... and I did avoid those, I made my own 'unique' mistakes ... which I am certain my children with avoid -- at least I hope they will!! They other surprises were just how very tiring and demanding a job it is physically when they are young. You have no time to re-charge your batteries often. I was also suprised though by the absolute protectiveness and devotion and love I felt as a young Mum ... the miracle of their development as time went on.
Now though as a Grandma, I cannot believe how much my daughters have matured as young women with their own voices, their own identities and the complete devotion and concern with which they dedicate themselves to their children. I am learning so much from them!
Finally, I am amazed by the friendship that has developed with my daughters at this stage in their lives and mine. Part of that friendship involves an honesty -- I love that they both feel free to criticize me often in a supportive way ... sometimes not. I am also amazed that I am often defensive indicating I am still in the process of maturing as a human being which I expect will go on forever! That necessity to keep growing is wonderful!
3. What skills have you learned or honed as a parent?
Your question is in the past tense! I am still learning and honing as a parent and as a grandparent. Fortunately, we are always learning and hopefully maturing.
I have always been drawn to 'caring for others' in some capacity. That sounds like an old-fashioned response from a woman who grew up in the late '60s, but it is perhaps in the nature of some of us. I find 'meaning' in sharing what I may have to support others. It's not an 'ego' thing ... I don't look for praise or recognition. I simply want to serve the needs of those who I am fortunate enough to work for. Thus, that sense within has led me into nursing and teaching. Moreover, I have always had a deep sense of 'social justice,' an interest in the political scene in the world around me and in the empowering others with confidence in themselves in developing their own potential ... whether they be young men or young women ... or friends ...
5. Could you put your identity into a few key words? ie. mother-writer-student. How do you imagine your identity changing in ten years? Or twenty?
My identity in a nutshell: person-mother-grandmother-teacher-mentor-always a student-risk-taker with others and myself-friend. My friends and family would say that I am highly independent ... although I expect in 10 or 20 years, that independence will wane due to aging. However, my hope is that if/when I retire, I will do some writing ... preferably short stories. I was an English teacher and was compelled to write as a young mother after I returned to university when my youngest child, Sarah, was in grade 1.
Work for me has to be a 'vocation.' Joseph Campbell in his book, The Power of Myth, claimed we must "follow our bliss." That has been my mantra in everything I do, consequently leisure for me involves being with family (especially a game of Crazy Eights with my grandsons) ... and being in my garden as well as entertaining.
I have never put constraints on what I want to do but sadly society does. I am 66 years old working with at-risk teenagers at a school in Guelph. It is a very demanding but very rewarding job. I am grateful to be learning and working with these young people. Recently though, I considered applying the skills I have developed by applying for a position as a Justice of the Peace. I know I have the qualities they are looking for; however, I received a letter from the Dept. of Justice indicating that because I am over the age of 65, I cannot be considered for this position. They claim that had I already been working within their system, I could work until I am 75. I have NEVER felt that there are limitations in what I might want to do in life. In fact, I returned to university when I was 55 years of age and graduated from the MBA program and the University of Victoria specializing in Management Consulting at the Ivey School of Business. However, 'the bottom line' was not the way I could function, I found out!
This other age restriction is something I am trying to come to grips with ... in some way. A part of me is outraged!
My other interest is the Centre for Innovative Governance ... in Waterloo. I am drawn to strategic thinking and to find solutions to problems. It was an area I did very well in at business school. A little voice in me is screaming to see if there is any possibility for me at that amazing Think Tank.
7. Payment is the most obvious way to assign value to work; are there other ways?
We all have to be practical: money is essential to survival ... but, if there is no joy in the process of earning our keep, then we might as well not be doing it. I believe without that excitement to come to work each day, a little part of us can die. It is eroding. So, we need to do all that we can to adhere to a vocation.
8. When people ask: what do you do, how do you reply? How does your reply make you feel?
When people aske me what I do, I reply that I work with at-risk students. I feel privileged to say that because I absolutely feel that way.
9. How have your goals for yourself changed since becoming a parent? What help do you need to reach those goals?
N/A
10. How has feminism failed mothers / fathers (if you think it has)? Personally, what do you think feminism has given mothers / fathers? What could it give?
We still have a long way to go in developing our inner voices as human beings. Identity for me is an ever-evolving and ever-changing process. I look forward to the surprises that await me.
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